Beer, the great leveller.  Thousands of years ago the Egyptians and Chinese used it as not only a recreational beverage, but also an elixir for various ills.  I don’t know if they ever had to use beer to improve race relations( cripes, I don’t have that much time).  This Thursday, President Barack Obama will us the Nectar Of The Gods as a lubricant to help us all move forward from a amazingly stupid incident between a white Cambridge Cop and a black Harvard Professor.  I’m convinced that Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr.(or as his good friends President Obama and Governor Duval Patrick call him, “Skip”) overreacted to a cop answering a call to protect his property.  Although he was the only one to bring up race in this incident, you have to add class to this too.  I say this because in the Police report it states that Mr. Gates whipped out the classic “You have no idea who you’re messing with” and “You haven’t heard the last of it”.  If you were friends with the President Of The United States and The Governor Of Massachusetts wouldn’t you throw that gem out there too?

Now “Skip” and Sgt. James Crowley are headed to the Oval Office to throw back a couple O’ cold ones and iron this whole thing out like a Little League Coach and an Ump who had a tiff about a blown call.  At this pivotal moment in American race relations, what beer should be served to cool the burning embers of prejudice?  The President prefers the All-American/Belgian owned Budweiser.  Giving the “Birthers” another straw to grasp at.  It’s a beer for the common man.  After a hard day of battling Congress, the Iranians, and “Birthers”, you need a true American Classic Lager to quench that embattled Liberal thirst.  I can see Barak bellying up to the local Dive after the Secret Service has cleared the joint and loosening his tie after that first cool relieving sip.   “Skip” is partial to the crisp Pilsner taste of Becks, a fine brew from Germany.  Home of Karl Marx .  The Father of Communism.  The sharpness of the malty delight helps wash away the years of exploitation by the Capitalist hierarchy. Or the legendary Jamaican Lager, Red Stripe.  A brew born out of British Colonial power by two enterprising Industrialists.  I’m sure the Righties will peg him for a Commie, Socialist, Anti-Patriotic, America hater for choosing an import.  Sgt. Crowley is a fan of Blue Moon, a sweet Belgian White brewed in Colorado.  A sweet mellow Ale brewed in a mellow state that gave us South Park and prime skiing.  A beer that will help any public servant forget all the crap he took all day on the job.  Plus, the label matches the uniform.  It almost looks like a Department patch.  If Blue Moon had their own police force they would hand out bottles to suspects of age to alleviate confrontation at the scene.  The country would be a much friendlier place.  But I think this will be the most awkward beer among men since that party at Stephon Marbury’s place.

I was hoping for a local brew to be represented.  After all, the incident happened in Cambridge.  How about a couple of  Towers from the Cambridge Brewing Company?  Maybe a Growler of Harpoon I.P.A.?  Leave the Oval Office smelling like the Beer Works after a Sox Game.  I would Have also included some shots.  A beer and a shot can calm even the most hateful racist.  But that would lead to men crying, then taking Marine One for an impromptu foray to Ocean City for some Kamikazes and Ski Ball.  The President would be calling in the next day saying he didn’t calibrate his alarm well enough, “Skip” would give the ever reliable, “Food Poisoning” excuse, brought on by a racially profiling fried dough vendor.  Sgt. Gates would use one of his hundreds of Union sick days to sleep it off.  We should all have a special day to drink beer with friends or strangers and discuss the social ills of our nation…oh yeah we already do…it’s called Saturday.  Well,  good luck to the regular guys club meeting at the White House.  Watch out for road blocks on your way home.  

Use the comment space below and let me know what beer they should be drinking at this historic meeting.  Be careful, the future of Racial Harmony depends on it.