Posted by Mike on March 31, 2009
Check out these pictures of the latest visit from Jesus Christ.
This isn’t nearly as impressive as Jesus in A Hospital Window, or Mary in a grill cheese sandwich….mmmmm…grilled cheese. It’s more like the The Arc Angel Of Budget Decals threw this up. Maybe that’s another sign of a bad economy. No more chemically complex apparitions with toasted bread. Just hit Fast Signs and slap some stickers on the side of a heathen video store that rents out movies with porn and violence. Or is Jesus letting sinners know that he will avert his eyes to sin as long as you rent from the Mom And Pop store 
that’s losing tons of money, instead of the Giganto Chain that is losing tons of money.
Does Jesus still rent from a Video store? I thought they would have a sweet DVD/Blue ray collection going on in heaven. You figure Jesus would be on the Academy Of Motion Pictures Arts list. Every studio would want the Messiah to screen their new film. He could send us a sign in the form of a image in a giant plasma screen at Best Buy. “Hey shoppers, this is The Lord. Just finished watching “12 Rounds” and it kicks ass! Cena is the next Rock” Or is Jesus still renting VHS. He’s probably been bugging his dad to get a DVD player for years. But God said, “Look, we have all these perfectly good videos that still work. As long as there is a place still renting VHS tapes, there’s no reason to waste our money on a DVD player.” It would make sense that God is still a little behind the times. The Pope just said that condomns use has little effect 
on the spread of AIDS. I’m sure prayer is a much more effective contraceptive. I like how the worlds oldest Virgin is giving us tips on STD’s. A whole organization that practices celibacy is the scientific leader when it comes to AIDS research. Right.
I think Jesus is showing us that we don’t need the Golden Calf Blue Ray or Wide Screen. He’s saying his message can be just as effective without all the drama of a misty aberration or a tornado. Or, he’s just embarrassed because his dad won’t let him sign up for Netflix?
