Now we know.  It was a wardrobe malfunction.  Some experts felt the Celtics lost game one because of a long, overtime filled series with Chicago, some blamed uncharacteristic play by the Captain, Paul Pierce, who was on the bench with three fouls before halftime.  Still others pointed at Ray Allen, who shot from the floor like a Somali Pirate shooting at the US Navy.  I, however, know the reason and it can be blamed on our very own Celtic Dancer, Courtney.

Courtney’s wardrobe malfunction distracted our boys.  There’s no way to focus on playing D after you just watched a very beautiful young lady lose her top while executing an intricate dance routine.  Imagine the pressure on Scal.  He’s got enough problems just trying to put his body in front of Dwight Howard, never mind trying to do so after catching a glimpse of a fine set of Dancer boobs!

This is the reason the great Celtic patriarch, Red Auerbach, never wanted cheerleaders.  He was so against it, they waited until he passed away to put the Dance team to work.  Hell, they are still so respectful of Red, they don’t even dare call them cheerleaders.  Red, in his infinite wisdom, knew that men playing sports can only focus on one thing at a time.   Scratch that…he knew that all men can only focus on one thing at a time.  Add a bunch of young attractive females, in hardly any clothing, obviously not very well secured, and you have a problem.

I say we pull the Dancers for game five.  Or secure their tops with Crazy Glue.   This series is too important to risk another wardrobe malfunction.  Not to mention, we need Scal to be focused on only one thing.  Shutting down the Magic!

Since there’s been a lot of talk on this blog about my use of the term “deadbeat”, I thought it would be interesting to try to define what it really means, when it comes to those facing foreclosure, and getting a 275 BILLION dollar bailout from hardworking taxpayers like you and I.

First, the official definitions:  according to Princeton.edu, a “deadbeat” is a “defaulter, someone who fails to meet a financial obligation”.  That is certainly true of these homeowners facing foreclosure.  Wiktionary defines a “deadbeat” as a “lazy person, a person who defaults on their debt”.  Now, I can’t say for certain how many of these “deadbeats” are lazy, but I know that they are all defaulting on their debt.  And, quite frankly, the reason why is insignificant to me.  I don’t care if they lost their job, were conned by a lender, didn’t read the fine print, or as Miserable Matt points out, they are dealing with a sick family member.  They agreed to pay a debt, to “meet a financial obligation”, and they are not doing it.  Not my problem.  My suspicion is, however, that those reasons are not why most cannot pay.

Those in favor of “helping our neighbors out” will tell you that we NEED to do this so as to avoid our property value plummeting.  On the face, it seems like a great argument.  Who wants to see five houses on your street foreclosed on in the coming months?  It won’t help you maintain the value in your home.  However, when I began to look deeper in to this, I began to realize that it is a, shocker, SCARE TACTIC.

Did you know:

-The majority of those being “bailed out” by our President (and democrat controlled congress) live in just five states:  California, Nevada, Arizona, Michigan and Florida?

-In the majority of states, foreclosure rates are relatively low.  For instance, in New York it’s 1 out of 2,271 homes.  In Vermont, it’s 1 out of 51,906 homes being foreclosed on.  While in Nevada, in January, 1 out of 76 went in to foreclosure!  1 out of 173 homes in California was foreclosed on in January.  Alan Reynolds wrote a great piece on this in the New York Post, if you would like to read more.

-In the states with the lowest 25 foreclosure rates, less than 1/10th of ONE PERCENT of homes were foreclosed on in January.

-Home prices in those states (with the exception of Michigan) are the only ones in the country that experienced double digit loss as of the 3rd quarter of 2008.  (latest figures available).

-Sales of homes in those four states have SKYROCKETED over the last year

What does all that mean?  It means the existing process works.  Houses get foreclosed on, the market adjusts, and people buy.  That means everyone’s home value starts to rise again.  However, if you “speculate” in the market, you run the risk of losing.  You own a $750, 000 home in California and get a sub-prime (risky) mortgage, so you can buy new furniture, a new car, put on an addition, and your property value drops, you lose.  It’s not my fault! Why should someone in Vermont be bailing out someone in California who took a dangerous risk when it comes to their home?  What else do “The Deadbeat States” have in common?  Unemployment rates WAY above the national average.  So…people who don’t work, secure a risky subprime mortgage to take cash out of their home, see their home value drop, and can’t pay their contractual financial obligation…seem like “deadbeats” to me.  What’s the problem, Matt?

If you visited this blog today expecting to get my take on our fearless leader declaring that the Government will now limit the amount of money a CEO can make at a PRIVATE company, then you are not going to be happy.  Oh, sure…I can’t believe we have a arrived at a point in this country where the Government would EVER be able to cap the amount of money ANY hardworking American can make….but….that story is trumped by even more important world news.  Even though I might wish it, President Obama is not the largest boob making headlines in the world today.

That honor goes to Sheyla Hershey, who has just become the world record holder when it comes to sweater bombs.  The “Hershey’s kisses” (I am trademarking that, so don’t even think of using it) clock in at an incredible 38KKK!  Please take a look but make sure you close the office door, and that there are no impressionable children around.

In the past, the letters making up the triple K’s were the domain of a sub-human racist organization in the south, but now, thanks to gallons of Silicone, they are an official designation when it comes to crowd pleasers.  But this shouldn’t shock us, because America is changing.  Remember how you used to be impressed if your dad’s car had fake mahogany wood on the dash?  Now, everything is bigger and better.  Spinners, plasma TV’s, chrome gas caps, etc are all must haves for your vehicle.  (And that’s just when it comes to the President’s limo).  I guess the same is now true when it comes to Honkers.  Heck, a double D use to impress the hell out of me and my friends, but those were the good ol’ days.

Ms. Hershey travelled to Texas last year to have a gallon of Silicone injected in her lactation stations.  (Yes…due to FAA regulations, she and the other passengers sat on one side of the plane, and her penis pillows sat on the other).  Amazingly, when she arrived in Texas, she learned that their legislature has passed a law preventing creation of a rack bigger than triple F!  On a side note, wouldn’t it be great to live in a state where there are so many fake Zambonies that they have to pass a law that essentially says you can’t make them any bigger?  They take their guns seriously in Texas.

But, to complete this most American Dream of breast success stories, Ms. Hershey found out (when someone was able help her read an article) that Brazil does not limit the amount of Silicone a woman can pay to have shot in her Whoppers.  Quicker than you can say pancake, she flew to Brazil, and walked out with 38KKK’s.  Who says American’s are not the breast and brightest?

So, thanks to Ms. Hershey.  She took my mind off President Obama’s CEO compensation package announcement and reminded me of a real problem we have in this country.  If we are going to compete in a Global (sorry) Economy, we have to be able to tell our women…when it comes to Winnebago’s, BUY AMERICAN.

Hey..wanna see pictures of Amy Winehouse playing Scrabble NUDE in the Carribean?? Yeah..me either,but here’s the link anyway! http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article2181615.eee

I’ve cleared it with our Entercom lawyers-I can officially refer to the big game this weekend as the Superbowl.  The NFL legal team (slightly larger than the group of people who now tell you that they have been “with” the Bruins right from the start this season) will throw a cease and desist down your throat in record time if you mention the “Big Game” in conjunction with an advertiser…but random blog mentions are allowed!

Where were you last year when the “worst Superbowl of all time” occured?  I was there in Phoenix, and as Sunday approaches, I can’t help thinking of what could have been (which is just slightly less painful than re-listening to Tom Menino’s State of the City address).  I call it the “worst Superbowl of all time” because it had the potential to be…the “Best Superbowl of All Time”.  Undefeated season, four in a decade, blah, blah, blah. You get the picture.  I am sure that Sunday’s game will at least remind you of how much last year hurt.

To help ease your pain, I talked to some of the New England Patriots to see how they are planning to spend their Superbowl Sunday, one year after the “season that almost was”…

Larry Izzo, linebacker and special teams superstar:  “I am going to stay at home and watch at my house with my wife, Maura.  I will have my friend Stella and another friend Bud, and my good friend, Coors, to keep me company.  I am only watching for Bruce Springsteen at half time to see if he equals my performance of “Born In The USA” at Larry-oke last year.  You can never forget last year, it’s frustrating not to be there, and it’s hard to watch for any player if you’re not there.  I usually don’t watch.   But I am usually in the lockerroom for the half time show so now I get to see what all the fuss is about.”

Lonie Paxton, long snapper and man about town:  “I am going to Hawaii, and I will be on a fishing boat and out in the ocean snorkeling during the game.  I am planning on landing some mahi-mahi!   I just went to the Winter X games in Aspen, representing my charity, the “Active Force Foundation.org“, which builds handicapped sports equipment. I was there handing out gold medals to the Athletes.  From Hawaii, it’s off to Cabo and then back to work getting ready for next season.”

So…there you go.  Life goes on.  And I guess the message is, if they’re over it, I should be.   I will try.

Congratulations, Hollywood stars:  your guy won the election and he is now the President of the United States.  Hopefully, he will do great things when he “gets right to work” today…and in the future.  However, I have to ask you Cameron, and Demi, and Eva and Ashton….what took you so long?  I was watching your video just now.  You know the one where you pledge to do “great things” in the “service” of Barack Obama?  (see below).  And I was wondering where you have been for the last 8 years?

When this country was attacked in 2001, you guys were all over television talking about how we had to join together to fight a common enemy.  Stupid me…I didn’t know that enemy was the President of the United States!  Most of you just couldn’t get over that contested election the year before and so you thought George Bush was the enemy, right?  He lied about the war and therefore you didn’t have to do anything to support him?  Or be his “servant”, as you pledge to President Obama.

I think it’s great that Eva Longoria is gonna plant 500 trees…really, I do.  (I think we are gonna need to see the video evidence, though, don’t you?).  I think it’s great that Diddy is gonna shut the lights off.  (Which house do you think he’s talking about?  East or West coast?).  I think it’s wonderful that someone like Barack Obama can move all of you self-absorbed Hollywood phonies to get involved in service in your community.  I really do.  I just find it odd that you haven’t all felt that way forever.  Why does it take a President who’s a democrat to get you motivated?  Imagine our image around the world if you had accepted George Bush as our President and pledged to be his servant, especially when the country was at war?

I don’t mean to be suspicious.  I am sure that every one of those Hollywood superstars will immeadiately begin honoring what they pledged.  As soon as their agent or PR person calls and reminds them what they pledged.

I never thought I would say this, but…I feel bad for Hugh Hefner.  Here we thought he had it made, living in the mansion with three incredible girlfriends.  He’s in his 80’s and all these POA chicks want to do is bang the master all day long!  Sadly, we have learned today that this is just not the case.

Hef’s former girlfriend, the brain-matter challenged Kendra Wilkinson, has given an interview to The Sun, in which she admits to sneaking out of “The Mansion” when she wanted to get laid.  Blasphemy!  How could she say such a thing?  She admits to only seeing Hef ONCE a day-and she never spent any time alone with him!  I can’t believe the lie that is reality television!  Here I was, watching “The Girls Next Door” with a swell of admiration that Hef was a man who pretty much had figured it all out.  Now, just like Evil Knievel trying to ride a rocket over the Grand Canyon, we don’t know if ANY of it was true.

And what does this say about Hef as a businessman?  He was a cartoonist and school newspaper guy in college, built the Playboy empire from nothing into a billion dollar entity, and continued to evolve with the times.  Yet never once considered making these girls sign confidentiality agreements?  Didn’t he know they would leave and spill the jizz…er, beans…whatever the expression is?

I’m thinking of boycotting the show this season…unless these three new girls who are moving in are really hot.  You know what?  Hef is definitely getting some of that.

How ’bout that Ryan Seacrest?  The new season of American Idle (yes, I did that on purpose) is on and Ryan ran into a slight problem with a blind contestant the other night.  Watch here.  Gotta give him credit for grabbing the guys hand and completing the high five.  Can’t wait til later on this season when Ryan tries to dance with the contestant in the wheelchair.

Coming up on Friday’s show….Lisa Rinna, who is supposed to be doing Playboy again…Beau Bridges…and Red Sox Hall of Famer Jim Rice.  Growing up, Jim Ed Rice was one of my favorite players (Bernie Carbo was the guy I idolized the most) and I can’t wait to talk to him tommorow.  He will be on at 8:45.

Talk to you tommorow!

Coming up Thursday’s show…Manny Delcarmen of the Red Sox will be in the studio at 7:45…is he afraid of the Evil Empire in NY?  What does he think of Smoltz?  Does he have any good Manny Ramirez stories?  Anything else you think we should ask Manny…please leave a comment below.  Also tommorow, Ken Casey of Dropkick Murphy’s will be calling from New Zealand with an announcement.  He called me yesterday from some incredible golf course so we’ll find out about that, too

Some quick “Random Bloggings”:

-Wyc Grousbeck said on today’s show that he thinks the Celtics need to make a deal before the deadline, which is next month.  I am pushing for former UMass Minuteman, and Alumni graft taker, Marcus Camby.  Souces say he wants out, he’s got a local connection, and I think he could be the “big” that Doc Rivers is saying they need.  Listen to the Wyc podcast here.

-Get ready to hear liberals who are outraged that Barack Obama’s effigy is being burned in Iran.  These are the same people who had no problem, by the way, with Doc Martins being launched at W’s head in Iraq, or the British movie about Bush’s assasination, or the Dixie Chicks saying how “ashamed” they were.  You watch, when it’s their guy, their “messiah” being burned in effigy, they will scream loudly about how “offensive” it is to all Americans

-Speaking of our President-elect (I can still call him that for a few days), we now have our first look at the new OBAMASINE that he will be driving around, including next week for the MOST EXPENSIVE swearing in of any president ever.  I think it blows Deval Patrick’s Deville away.  I think it’s jacked up a little, too.

-And speaking of that, I thought one of the reasons to vote for Barry was because this stuff wouldn’t happen.  I thought we were promised an instant love-fest with countries around the world, including the “Axis of Evil”.  Will our next president head to Iran and break syrian bread (and dip it in delicious hummus) with these same Iranians who are burning his effigy?

-Nobody has identified the “Mystery Miss Mantown” in my previous blog yet.  Please take a look (right).  It’s not hard work…maybe you don’t recognize the face, but a particular body part looks familiar.  We need your help!

-Last week we discussed the Massachusett’s legislature establishing a commision to identify the “1,000 Great Places” here in Massachusetts. (Great use of taxpayer dollars, by the way).  Coming up next week on the show, I will begin a special audio and video feature on the air, and on this website, “My 25 Not So Great Places in Massachusetts”.  If you have a suggestion on a “not so great place”, please leave a comment below.

Thanks for reading and go Bruins!

The inauguration of our first African American President is going to be an incredible day-so why do stupid people with obvious agenda’s have to ruin it?

The head of the Alabama NAACP is upset that a performance group from his state will be marching in the inaugural parade in these period costumes.  He says it reminds him of slavery.  Don’t you have to have lived through something to be reminded of it?  The only thing it reminds me of is “costumes equal funny”.  We can’t erase entire periods of our history because bad things went on during that time.  It’s not like this group is wearing “plantation owner and slave” costumes.  These are the same period costumes they wear at Colonial Williamsburg… or Western Mass’s tourist magnet, Sturbridge Village.  Come on.  Aren’t there better things to worry about?  Polls in Alabama continue to show that Charles Barkley is a popular potential candidate for Governor.  That is something this guy should be afraid of.

The oversensitive, whiny, politically correct faction of this country is WRECKING IT.  We’ll discuss this on tommorow’s show so I hope you will take part.

I will fill you in on what, exactly, is NOT hot in just a moment, but first….

-Patriots quarterback Matt Cassel was on the show today.  He talked about being willing to back up Tom Brady next year, if that’s what he has to do.  Not much chance of that happening, in my opinion.  The Patriots will franchise Cassel, then either Brady can play or he can’t.  If he can, they trade Cassel.  If he can’t, Matt is the QB next year.   You can listen to his interview here.

-Violence continues to spread…not in the Middle East, but among parents at Chuckie Cheese.  Please watch this video and tell me if you can ever see yourself in this situation.  We have discussed before that alcohol ought not to be available at CC….it’s just not necessary.  Well, maybe as a disinfectant for the ball pit…but other than that, I think most parents can wait til they get back to the trailer to have a Natty Light.  How many of you have seen behavior unbecoming an adult at a Chuckie Cheese?

-Spaz is inconsolable now that reports are in that sources say Michael Jackson has six months to live.  Granted they may not be the most credible, however, one is his biographer who says this is why Michael wants to mend fences with Paul McCartney by giving him his share of the Beatles catalog that he owns.  If you believe that Michael is a pedophile, then you must think this is justice.  One of the most famous, and successful, musicians of our time… no longer making meaningful music, and on death’s doorstep.  If you don’t think he touched little tykes, then it would be sad that he is dying at a relatively young age.

-Finally… the following photo (right) is not Michael Jackson.  And it is NOT hot.  It is fashion designer Donatella Versace on the beach at St. Barts.  Remind me when I get old (you may think I need to be told this now anyway) NOT to wear a bathing suit.  Especially if it is going to be photograped.  Is that Magda from “Something about Mary”?  What would be better able to withstand years of bad weather- a Versace leather jacket or Donatella’s skin?  She looks like an alligator with a new set of fake tits. I know we all get old-I am just reminding myself to stay off the beach after a certain point.

Have a great weekend.  See you at the World of Wheels at the Bayside Expo Center on Saturday night.  And we will be back Monday at 5:45!