It’s called “Pugilist Style Ale” but it doesn’t punch you in the face.  This English style  session beer from the Yards Brewing Company in Philadelphia is actually quite friendly to the taste buds and very smooth and drinkable.  The 4.2% ABV will keep you fairly reasonable until maybe half way through your second sixer.  This dark ruby brew had a light thin head and malty aroma and that’s what you get on the first sip.  There’s also a hint of tea and a little tartness.  The finish brings a very slight caramel and a lemon tea.  This is great for the hot weather and would be great with spicy food.  The only brawling that may occur would be for the last one.

I’d like to think beer, good beer, transcends things like, Race, Religion, politics, space, time, and gender.  But the folks at Carlsberg apparently think beer is more of an accessory for the Ladies.  Coppenhagen Beer is marketed as light, refreshing and different.  The line Carlsberg is ramming through to let the Ladies know it’s not so manly is’ “”so insisting that natural beauty needs no make-up, so tastefully stating that blond is the new black….”  But apparently this beer needs to Spackle on the foundation with it’s Wine bottle-like label and commercial that makes it look like a perfume.  Will Women be more inclined to drink beer if it’s in a semi-classy, less masculine package?  It doesn’t seem to hurt other brewers to have a so called Testosterone influenced bottle like Bud, Coors, or Miller.  I see Women of all ages guzzling those beers in huge quantities.  But Carlsberg says this beer is for, “modern women and men”.  Those forward thinkers who do not wish to drink the beer of the neanderthal plebeians.  Carlsberg spokeswoman Jeanette Elgaard Carlsson says “There may be situations where women are standing at a bar and want their drinks to match their style.  In this case, they may well reject a beer if the design does not appeal to them.”  I agree that some people may use beer as a status symbol.  But is this all women think about when they are enjoying a beverage?  If it “looks good” while drinking it?  Men, do you think a woman drinking a bottle of Miller High Life or Wachusett IPA is unattractive and less feminine?  Women, do you choose your beer by looks or taste?  Or does that even matter?  Let me know in the comments section below.

Coppenhagen Beer is not available in the U.S. yet.  So I have not TASTED it.  Who knows?  It may be the greatest tasting beer ever created.  Then I’ll drink gallons of it despite the image Carlsberg has created or what I’m wearing.  Or it could be the next Zima(which is a great mixer for Gin or Vodka).

Worcester’s first Craft Beer festival is happening this Saturday(4/23) at the DCU Center in beautiful Worcester, MA.  I am very excited about this because I’ve always wanted a Beer Festival within walking distance to my house.  Some of the 30+ Brewers that will be at Brew Woo include: Wormtown Brewery, Berkshire Brewing Company, Harpoon, Ipswich, Smuttynose, Wachusett Brewing Company, Magic Hat, Cape Ann Brewing, and Naragansett.  The hours are 3pm-9pm and tickets are $25 in advance and $30 at the door.  You can purchase them here. 

Unfortunately I will not be doing as much sampling as I want because I have been charged with trying to consume a 5 pound cheeseburger.  The folks at the DCU Center and the show Grillseekersapproached me about doing this and I never turn down free food.  Here are the contents of the “Monsta Burger”:

No, this is not some sort of Harry Potter-like story of pre-pubescent witches and goblins.  It’s about two beers.  One is delicious and the other could be considered flirtatious(if given to someone else).

I was told that Sneaky Pete’s Imperial IPA doesn’t come around very often and later determined that is a damn shame because it’s a great beer.  It poured an Amber/copper with a little haze and once it was settled in my glass with it’s thick foamy head I got a whiff of the fruity sweet hoppy aroma.  That was not the case with the first sip.  That was a strong citrus rind/pine flavor with a slight sweetness of caramel.  It had a creamy texture to it with a bitter finish that brought out the %10 ABV.  I t was nice on a brisk Spring day, sitting on the front porch, making the neighbors feel uncomfortable. 

The “Boner” part of this blog is about those freakish bastards at Brewdog.  The same guys who made the skull crushing Sink The Bismark and the PETA angering End Of History, have now made a beer that will supposedly counteract the inconvenient “brewers droop”.  It’s called Royal Virility Performance and is brewed with chocolate, goat weed, and herbal VIAGRA.  The Royalists at BrewDog are no doubt trying to help the Crown continue it’s line.  There was a time that the consumation of any Royal marriage was the main event.  Family members and heads of state would at times be spectators to the destruction of the Royal Hyman.  With the %7.5 ABV it’s sure to be an excellent accompaniment to those Beer Goggles you’ll be wearing after 4 or 5.  No word yet when this missile launcher of a brew will hit the U.S., but a fair warning has been given.  Ladies beware.

It’s British and Fruity, much like Dame Edna!  The aroma has notes of Clementine and the color is golden hazy.  The first sip brought on the honey with the citrus.  But not too sweet.  It’s more the flavor of the honey that greets you.  I’ve always been turned off by fruit or flavored beers that have that artificial snow cone syrup taste but there’s none of that here.  There’s also a mild hint of grains with the sweetness that comes at the finish.  Seriously refreshing and very drinkable.  It has an ABV of 5% which is good because I could down about 10 of these no problem.  This would be perfect with some burned meat off the grill in 95 degree weather.   It may also compliment your lighter seafood dishes. Either way it’s a sweet pleasure.

This is classic 7o’s.  I’m sure there was more than just beer being passed around the Star Wars set in 1976.  I wonder if there is a cup holder in the X-Wing fighter?  I’m no Rebel Pilot but you shouldn’t be drinking before you take on the biggest space station in the galaxy.  You need a steady hand to get those Proton Torpedoes down that ventilation shaft.  Or, I guess you could just have a few beers and let the force guide you.  You know Porkins had at least a 12 pack for the road and a couple of microwave burritos the R2 Unit could microwave while he got those wings into attack position with a cold one between his fat knees.  I would love to have Princess Leia, the last daughter of Alderaan, serve me a cold tallboy in the slave outfit Jaba The Hut made her wear.

Thanks to Kevin Barbare for showing me this Excellent gif.  My question to you is: What kind of beer is that?  Remember, they filmed most of Star Wars in England.  Whatever it is, it has to be better than that Blue Milk Luke had to drink back home.  If you have any clues post them below.  We have to know the official beer of the Rebel Alliance.

The Chicago Chocolatier Truffle Truffle has taken the diabetic grenade of confections to the next level.  Behold The Beer Marshmallow.  Ok, it’s not full on made with beer only dusted.  But they still get an A for effort.  Somehow we need to get some high octane 10.0% involved in the actual mallow…or marsh.  S’mores will never be the same.

The Wormtown Brewery’s Joe Z’s Coconut Porter would be an excellent accompaniment  to a S’more made with beer marshmallows…wrapped in bacon.  I recently had a s’mores Pop Tart wrapped in bacon at The Tavern in Framingham.  It was a spiritual experience.  So I’m assuming, if we wrapped an actual s’more in bacon with beer marshmallows it would be an elevated experience.  Joe Z’s Coconut Porter, with it’s sweet maltiness and smokey coconut finish would probably send me into convulsions like a freshly healed disciple of one of those snake charming evangelists.  I shall pursue this and get back to you….

Let me preface this review with the words of this beer’s creator:

“This is not a craft beer. This is not a snifter pour. This is not a beer with a flowery finish or oaky undertones.”

And that’s the way Kid Rock likes his beer.  I’m not a beer snob.  I can enjoy a bottle of Allagash Fluxus as well as an ice cold Narragansett Tallboy.  This is a beer for a thirst built up after taking shit from your boss all day.  This is a beer for people who have more to worry about than yeast strains, hybrid hops, or glassware.  This beer does not come from a bucolic little farm town in the hills or have a history that dates back to a Belgian Monk’s Brother’s Uncle.  This is a drinking man’s beer.   Made for long nights hanging out with friends and waking up with a couple of strippers.

This Lager is a pale gold with a thick foamy head(when you use a glass to drink it)  I poured mine from the 22oz bottle marked “Private Stash”.  It was given to me by a friend who had attended Kid Rock’s Halloween party.  Even though this is a beer for the Working Man, it lacks the bitterness of most American Lagers like Budweiser or High Life.  It doesn’t kick you in the throat at the finish and give you a headache minutes later like Meisterbrau or Heffenraffer.  This lager is smooth and very drinkable.  It’s light but has a bit of sweetness with the malty, buttery taste.  I pick up a tartness like apples.  No bitterness. No skunkiness.  No weird metallic taste.  Which made it that much easier to drink. I could easily go through 6 double deuces with some St. Louis Style ribs or Hot Wings.  Any more than that and I might be pounding the shit out of some loudmouth at a Waffle House. 

Badass American Lager is a great session beer.  It’s made by the Michigan Brewing Company in Webberville, MI, part of  Kid Rock’s effort to keep business and jobs in his home state.  Unfortunately, that’s the only place you can get it for now.  So I guess there should be a road trip to Detroit Rock City in the near future.

Every year at The State Fair Of Texas they push the heavily battered envelope of deep fried goodness with an array of wonderful(and sometimes frightening) deep fried experiments.  There have been Deep fried Twinkies, Snickers, cheeseburgers, Coca-Cola, and even Pig’s feet.  But the item that immediately caught my cholesteric eye was the FRIED BEER!!!  HOLY SHIT!!! FRIED FUCKIN’ BEER!!!

There have been other experiments involving beer in batter but I think this is the first time the beer is left to stand alone.  In this case in a pretzel pocket deep fried until golden brown.  Oh, sweet honey in the rock!  They do not mention what kind of beer is used so there would have to be more experimentation….at my house.   I would love to use Dogfish head Forte and drizzle raspberry cream over it.  Maybe a Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin Ale sprinkled with cinnamon.  The possibilities are endless….and deadly. 

 Mark Zabel, the frickin’ genius who created this culinary gem should have a holiday named after him.  Below is the CBS news report.

This is both proof of the amazing times we live in and how robots will destroy humanity. Robots and Computers are already running a majority of everyday life on earth. Banking, Infrastructure, food processing, energy. Soon the time will come when the Machines will be our masters. There was a recent skirmish with the computerized break systems in Toyotas “malfunctioning”. Several were killed or injured and a major car manufacturer was almost destroyed. While these young pioneers at The Willow Garage may think they are helping humanity, the reality is, they are enabling the Robot Rebellion.

This Robot makes us think we can be more productive while drinking or be able to relax more while at leisure. It’s actually lulling us into trusting and eventually becoming dependent on it for the sweet nourishing nectar that is beer. Eventually the Robot will be showing up with beers while we are showering, helping the kids with homework, or first thing in the morning when we are getting out of bed. When we finally are to drunk to figure out what the hell is happening, the Robot will subdue us and send us to a slave camp to build more robots while being served beer…and..maybe even wine.

Don’t get me wrong, this is an amazing advancement in drinking technology. But we also must proceed with caution and use the Robot responsibly. I hate to see a day when the Robot will be making beer choices for us.

The other issue I have is this Robot is lacking some sweet tits. But that’s a whole other Blog….