A Bottle of Beer found at the site of the Hindenburg Airship disaster will go to Auction this week.  According to the article, the bottle of Lowenbrau will get close to $8500.  Which is almost as much as you pay for a beer at The Comcast Center.  The auction house warned the beer was not drinkable and was probably, “quite putrid”.  I’d still put it up against Golden Anniversary anytime.  But what about back in 1937 when it was found?  What would be the effect of a giant Hydrogen fireball have on a Munich-Style German brew?  I know this is rather insensitive and morbid, but it’s the first thing I thought about when I read the article.  In the bottle, exposed to high heat and then buried for a few days.  I’m sure someone like those freaks at Dogfish Head would go to great lengths to recreate this process like they do with ancient recipes.  They would probably build a Hydrogen Airship, stock it with some cases, and then light it up….unmanned of course. 

What would beer from the Titanic be like.  Say, a fine Samuel Smith Ale sunk in icy Atlantic waters for months then retrieved.  How would that alter the chemistry of the brew.  This is starting to get creepy…never mind.

By the way, I had a bottle of Stone Brewery’s Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale.  It is a beautiful brew.  More of a Stout than an Ale in my opinion.  There is a hint of hops in it, but the roasted malty, chocolaty, smokiness dominates.  It was a great with my warm double chocolate brownies.

 

 

Another great pairing is The Lagunitas Hop-Stoopid with a roasted duck from The Hong Kong Eatery in Chinatown.  The pine and citrus flavors along with the aroma of hops cuts through the greasy Duck skin and creates a delicious contrast.  After polishing off a bottle and half a duck, I passed out for three days.

 

A Muslim Woman in Malaysia has recently been sentenced to have six strokes from a cane because she…DRANK A BEER!!  Apparently Islamic law says you can’t drink a beverage that was first brewed in ancient Southern Iraq and Western Iran.  Is it really worth a beating?  I know some people who drink so much beer they get obnoxious and start spouting off about crap they know nothing about.  Rude assholes who, with the help of a good lager will volunteer their time to counsel you on something they have no business even mentioning.  That’s how my “friends” describe me after a few pints anyway.  I know Islam is about Love and Peace(except for those few assholes who try to blow up a market trying to force the Love and Peace on others.  Actually, their acting like a bunch of drunk asshole know-it-alls.  Is that Irony?) But what if you LOVE beer, and it brings you PEACE when enjoying it?  Maybe I’m so corrupted by Western Capitalist Culture that my soul can’t comprehend the inherent evil in a glass of smooth and creamy stout.  Sure, if you drink enough you have the potential of becoming an evil prick, but it’s better than stoning someone for not wearing a veil or trying to go to school.  Now that’s uber-prickish in my opinion. 

One of my first thoughts after reading about this was, “I hope it was worth it.”  They don’t state what kind of beer it was.  I hope it was god enough to mentally ease any pain by just remmembering the experience.  I started thinking, what if I was a beer lover who lived in a society that considered drinking it a crime?  What beer would I be willing to risk a beating for?  Is it worth the pain and societal ostracism?  A few came to mind:

The Dogfish Head Forte.  A lovely brew with raspberry puree.  Their 120 Minute IPA is also worth a  beating.  Both are mysterious, enchanting, and delicious.  Everything a Fundamentalist Muslim court is afraid of.

Harpoon’s Imperial I.P.A is part of their Leviathan series.  It’s amazing blast of hop flavor is sure to make you miss a prayer session.

The Schneider-Weisse Aventinus is a beautiful wheat doppelbock that has a body no burka could conceal.

After toiling in a Malaysian rubber tree Field for 8 hours just miles above the equator, you probably develop a thirst as hellacious as The Battle Of Badr.  Nothing in this world rewards hard sweaty work like an ice cold tall-boy of Narraganset Lager.  It hits the parched pallet like a chilly angel of mercy.  It almost makes you bow to Cranston.

What brews are worth a caning to you? Let me know in the comments section below.  Until then, don’t get caught.

Am I just old? Am I being close-minded about this? Do I have a hang up about my anus? Last time I checked, you could still get a decent buzz by drinking liquor and beer with YOUR MOUTH! Is enjoying a cocktail or pint the traditional way so boring that the youth of America needs to take it in another cavity? These kids need to get jobs…or maybe it’s their jobs that are driving them to do this. Who was the first to think, “Hey, this drinking with my mouth thing is ok, but I need to get the alcohol into my blood stream quicker, and bypass all those filtering organs like my LIVER!!! I know! My friends brother who is in a fraternity said he got wicked fucked up by taking a funnel in the ass! I’m not usually prone to sticking things in my ass except my finger. But hey, why not? The Sox are losing and I need to bond with my best friend anyway.” What do you think this guy’s friend said? “Sure I’d love to help you force beer into your anal cavity! I mean, I’m not gay, but I’d do anything to help my bro’ catch a buzz. You have to promise to do me after you’re done squirting beer and feces out of your ass.  And I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to wear this bra while you do it.” Is THIS the NEW THING? Is this what the cool kids are doing? What’s next? Taco Bell coming out with 7 layer burrito anal packs with festively colored applicator tube and extra napkins? Is your life so mundane you have to saturate a tampon in vodka to get a rush? Smirnoff will have the first line of flavored vodka tampons. Maybe a Pap Smirnoff kit so you can get cocked while an OBGYN/Bartender is plopping in a couple of olives?

Well if I’m going to keep up with the latest beverage rage then I guess I should start thinking about what beer I would want forced into my ass with a tube. I would probably start with one of my favorites: G. Schneider And Sohn’s Aventinus. A wonderful Wheat Dopplebock Ale brewed by Germans, who at times, can get a little freaky with the ass. It pours a Brown Sugar/Molasses color with a rye colored head. It’s scent is sweet spice and cinnamon. This is the closest you’ll get to drinking pumpkin pie, or shoving one in your anus. The first sip with your mouth brings a raisin and rich spice with malt and a bit of smokiness. As it warms the spiciness really comes out so you may want to wait 5 to 10 minutes before funneling it into your ass to get the full affect. A Carmel taste is also present and it has a fair amount of carbonation so try to keep still as your buddy starts to pour it into your ass. With a 8.2% ABV, you’ll be shitfaced(no pun intended) within minutes if you take it anally. I first had this at Jacob Wirth’s in Boston with the small plate sauerbraten and spatzle. The richness of the brew and the brisket and gravy made it a decadent experience. You may want to include some in your beer bong. Watch out, it’s hot! After that heavy German experience in your ass, you may want to cleanse the palette(or anus) with a Fullers ESB. A beautiful Copper colored Bitter with an eggshell foamy head. You get a great aroma of malt and a hint of spice after pouring(unless your taking it anally) It’s a sweet first sip with hints of grains and a rather tart malty finish. Very drinkable or bongable. Well, any way you take these beers, I’m sure it will be an experience you will want to inject into your life or ass again and again.  What beers would you like to receive in the ass?  Let me know in the comments section below.

I started the Summer vacation drinking…I mean research, as soon as I got home from work on the Friday before heading down to Sweet Cape Cod for the week.  I pulled a cold Southampton Publick House IPA out of my fridge and poured it into a glass while whiping the drool from my mouth.  I’m usually suspicious of people who use the “olde” English spelling for things like “shoppe” or preface it with “Ye”.  But I had heard good things about this New York brewery.  It poured a light amber with a thin sudsy head.  A great hop aroma with a slight smokiness.  The first sip not only contained a strong hop taste but was also had the bittersweet grapefruit rind flavor which lingered after the finish.  Keep in mind, I had the natural high of the night before a week’s vacation, so it was hard to ruin my chipper mood.  It’s high carbonation made it refreshing and I give it high points for drinkability.  Great with the oversized cheeseburgers with whiskey chipotle sauce I had for dinner. 

The Dogfish Head folks continue to prove they are wacko extremists when it comes to brewing spectacular beers.  This time, like their Midas Touch, they delve into ancient history to find new and mysterious tastes.  This time they go to China, where recently unearthed artifacts have traces of the worlds oldest brew.  Chateau Jiahu is based on a northern Chinese concoction painstakingly anylized by University professors and then handed over to the mad professors at Dogfish Head.  Like most of their brews, it’s got some crazy shit in it.  Pre-geletinized Rice flakes, Chrysanthemum flowers, muscat grapes, etc.  After pouring this reddish amber nectar it formed a thin but creamy off-white head.  I could smell the fermented fruit, it almost had a musty character.  The malt also came through in the aroma and with vanilla and light citrus.  I studied the illustration of the hot asian gothy chick on the label while I let it settle.  The first sip was rich, as alot of Dogfish Head occasional brews are, tasted of orange and raisin, with a high alcohol taste and a delicious creaminess.  This brew made my lips, gums, and teeth tingle.  It was so mystifying I started to feel paranoid.  What if they messed up a step in the process and accidentally made some kind of hallucinogenic liquid that is eating away at my oral cavity?  Is this a trick by the Chinese Government to make us drink a mind control solution disguised as a historical re-creation?  Should I get my teeth cleaned?  The tingling went away after a couple of sips.  As it warmed it’s fruitiness was enhanced and the alcohol taste increased.  As I approached the bottom of the bottle my skull started to warm.(8.0 ABV)  The Dogfish Head people are witches!!  The fermented fruit aroma increased and the taste of apples started to appear.  Or was I tripping balls?  It finished sweet.  This is a brew to be enjoyed and not guzzled.  The ancient Chinese must have been very happy drinking this….when they were not being pillaged by Mongols.

I love that point during a Cape Cod vacation when you become “Beachy”.  You’ve been at the beach every day body surfing and taking in the sun.  Eating snow cones while getting crispy.  Using the outside shower to rinse the sand out of your crack.  Your skin is covered in layers of salt water, sunscreen, and sweat.  It was in this state I refreshed myself with a Whales Tale Pale Ale from Cisco Brewers.  I sat on a deck in the sun letting the salt and sand bake into my scalp and grabbed a cold one from the cooler.  I first held the iced cold bottle to the back of my neck before I poured it to reveal it’s light copper color and sudsey head.  Then first cold sip of this Nantucket brew was light on hops with a touch of grapefruit rind and smokey malt.  It was not overbearing and fully drinkable.  I enjoyed the full four pack including one in the outdoor shower which is a great summer experience.  It finished bitter and crisp and was the go to beer of my summer vacation.

Being born in the mystical Asian land of Pittsburgh, PA, I often travel back to visit my family.  Every time I go, I make sure I allocate enough room to bring back a few cases of Yuengling Lager.  For some mysterious reason, this smooth amber nectar is not available in New England.  Maybe it’s a good thing it’s not, because I would be drinking it for breakfast every day.  Yuengling is “America’s Oldest Brewery”.  They have been brewing continously since 1829.  At least that’s what they claim.  Quite frankly, I don’t care.  It is truly a great American Lager.  The regular lager pours a beutiful orange/amber with a foamy head.  It’s drinkability is superb.  It’s smooth malty taste lacks the bitterness of most other domestic lagers.  It has a crisp slightly smokey finish and high carbonation.  Quite refreshing.  I prefer to enjoy it from the 16oz. cans while watching the pathetic Pirates play at PNC Park in Pittsburgh.  There is a vender at each gate that offers one up as soon as your tickets are torn.  It also acts as a decent lubricant while wolfing down a Primanti Brothers Roast Beef Sandwich with extra Velveeta.  The 22oz. Bombers are also a rare treat.  Those are good for calming those violent thoughts when a fat ass Steelers fan is in your face.  It will be a happy day when it becomes available here in Massachusetts.  For now I get to smuggle it back from Indiana County twice a year and bribe my friends to haul back a case or two when they’re in the distribution area.  Maybe that’s why I love it so much.  It is a major mission to get to my fridge.  After an 8 hour drive from Pennsylvania to Worcester with a raging 5 year old, it is a welcome relief.

Beer, the great leveller.  Thousands of years ago the Egyptians and Chinese used it as not only a recreational beverage, but also an elixir for various ills.  I don’t know if they ever had to use beer to improve race relations( cripes, I don’t have that much time).  This Thursday, President Barack Obama will us the Nectar Of The Gods as a lubricant to help us all move forward from a amazingly stupid incident between a white Cambridge Cop and a black Harvard Professor.  I’m convinced that Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr.(or as his good friends President Obama and Governor Duval Patrick call him, “Skip”) overreacted to a cop answering a call to protect his property.  Although he was the only one to bring up race in this incident, you have to add class to this too.  I say this because in the Police report it states that Mr. Gates whipped out the classic “You have no idea who you’re messing with” and “You haven’t heard the last of it”.  If you were friends with the President Of The United States and The Governor Of Massachusetts wouldn’t you throw that gem out there too?

Now “Skip” and Sgt. James Crowley are headed to the Oval Office to throw back a couple O’ cold ones and iron this whole thing out like a Little League Coach and an Ump who had a tiff about a blown call.  At this pivotal moment in American race relations, what beer should be served to cool the burning embers of prejudice?  The President prefers the All-American/Belgian owned Budweiser.  Giving the “Birthers” another straw to grasp at.  It’s a beer for the common man.  After a hard day of battling Congress, the Iranians, and “Birthers”, you need a true American Classic Lager to quench that embattled Liberal thirst.  I can see Barak bellying up to the local Dive after the Secret Service has cleared the joint and loosening his tie after that first cool relieving sip.   “Skip” is partial to the crisp Pilsner taste of Becks, a fine brew from Germany.  Home of Karl Marx .  The Father of Communism.  The sharpness of the malty delight helps wash away the years of exploitation by the Capitalist hierarchy. Or the legendary Jamaican Lager, Red Stripe.  A brew born out of British Colonial power by two enterprising Industrialists.  I’m sure the Righties will peg him for a Commie, Socialist, Anti-Patriotic, America hater for choosing an import.  Sgt. Crowley is a fan of Blue Moon, a sweet Belgian White brewed in Colorado.  A sweet mellow Ale brewed in a mellow state that gave us South Park and prime skiing.  A beer that will help any public servant forget all the crap he took all day on the job.  Plus, the label matches the uniform.  It almost looks like a Department patch.  If Blue Moon had their own police force they would hand out bottles to suspects of age to alleviate confrontation at the scene.  The country would be a much friendlier place.  But I think this will be the most awkward beer among men since that party at Stephon Marbury’s place.

I was hoping for a local brew to be represented.  After all, the incident happened in Cambridge.  How about a couple of  Towers from the Cambridge Brewing Company?  Maybe a Growler of Harpoon I.P.A.?  Leave the Oval Office smelling like the Beer Works after a Sox Game.  I would Have also included some shots.  A beer and a shot can calm even the most hateful racist.  But that would lead to men crying, then taking Marine One for an impromptu foray to Ocean City for some Kamikazes and Ski Ball.  The President would be calling in the next day saying he didn’t calibrate his alarm well enough, “Skip” would give the ever reliable, “Food Poisoning” excuse, brought on by a racially profiling fried dough vendor.  Sgt. Gates would use one of his hundreds of Union sick days to sleep it off.  We should all have a special day to drink beer with friends or strangers and discuss the social ills of our nation…oh yeah we already do…it’s called Saturday.  Well,  good luck to the regular guys club meeting at the White House.  Watch out for road blocks on your way home.  

Use the comment space below and let me know what beer they should be drinking at this historic meeting.  Be careful, the future of Racial Harmony depends on it.

This is a limited edition release from Redhook.  Brewed as closely as possible to the way old Belgian Trappist Monks would do it while trying to maintain a vow of silence or celibacy.  This particular small batch is designated by Redhook for summer, but it’s not infused with lemon or light and breezy like most Summer Seasonals.  It poured a reddish amber with a thin sudsy head.  It had a apple cider aroma with a little spice, maybe clove.  I let it sit long enough to see Jason Bay reach first and then get thrown out trying to steal second.  The first sip was a sweet, rich, classic Belgian ale taste with sweet cinnamon spice and vanilla.  The high carbonation counteracts the richness with a tart finish.  I let it sit for another inning and the richness let up and the vanilla flavors came forward.  The carbonation also dissipated.  I let it sit through a horrific 6th inning with John Smoltz  unravelling and giving up 3 home runs and a double.  Thankfully, the 10.2% ABV killed a little of that pain.  The warmth of the high alcohol content became more apparent as it hit room temperature.  The fruitiness and spiciness prevailed and the consistency became creamy.  Let this one get to room temp before digging in, or enjoy the dramatic changes as it warms.

I’ve been getting an earful about the Lagunitas Hop Stoopid Ale from the beer guy at my local packie.  Every time he mentions it he gives the old headshake and sigh and says, “Man, unbelievable.”  This beer is exactly like it’s name.  A cornucopia, if you will, of hopness and hoppitude.  Yet balanced enough to not blow your head off.  It poured a beautiful amber with a thin foamy head.  At first whiff you get a floral combo of hops, grapefruit, and blackberry.  It looked like it had high carbonation but didn’t come through in the first sip.  It started with a bit of pine with bitter citrus.  Strong on the hops.  But finished surprisingly clean with a buttery taste that lingered.  A fair presence of alcohol.  As it warmed, all of this mellowed.  Very drinkable and highly recommended.

First-off, If you were at the American Craft Beer Festival at The Seaport World Trade Center in Boston this past Saturday evening, I apologize if I spilled anything on you.  Sure, the glasses are only 2 oz, but there were so many beers, and so little liver space.  I went in with the best intentions, pen in hand, ready to fully appreciate bouquet and drinkability.  For the first 30 minutes I did.  But those damn charming ladies at the Ithaca booth insisted I hang, then the Narraganset guys were very importunate about experiencing their new Bock, next thing you know I’m humping the Dogfish Head guy’s leg and begging him to Send me a case of Forte.  So here is a review of the best beers I sampled(nowhere near the 300 I planned on):

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The Clipper City “Loose Cannon” was a delight.  All hoppy and sweet with a pine finish.  I was sipping while in line at The Long Trail booth and a tall Grizzly Adams type guy inquired about what I was having.  I told him and he gave a very critical “Hurrumph” and turned away.  Fortunately, he was the only beer dick I met that night.

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When I think Narraganset I don’t think craft beer.  I usually think about getting shit-faced guzzling the $1.50 specials on tall-boys at Ralph’s.  That has changed now that I know what their new “Bock” is all about.  Very flavorful, with a hint of caramel and roasted malt.  A lovely amber color and a beige head.  I highly recommend it.  Very Drinkable.  They are also starting a campaign to bring the plant back to Rhode Island(it’s now in New York).  The reps were explaining the details which were later washed away but I’m sure you can get them here.

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The Ithaca CascaZilla was another full hop experience.  with a sweet bitter finish.  I like it so much I had seconds, and then proceeded to graciously accept samples from their other offerings.  Two mugs up for the Apricot Wheat which is not overly fruity with a natural apricot taste.  Great hot weather beer.  The Flower Power American I.P.A. was also impressive with it’s sweet evergreen start and crisp finish.  The Partly Sunny Spiced Wheat Ale another surprise for me.  I’m not a big spice fan.  But the spiciness was just right and mixed with the flavor of a wheat ale gave it a bit of a chai flavor.

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The Long Trail Belgian Belgian White was creamy and delicious but the Double I.P.A. was excellent.  This is a limited edition in their Big Beer series, so when you see a bottle, snatch it up!

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Mayflower’s Porter was sweet with a bit of a raisin or molasses tone.  It finished bittersweet and had a great malty aroma.

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I am a huge Dogfish Head fan.  I love their spirit of adventure and think their 120 Minute I.P.A. is the best.  I sampled their Immort Ale and loved the huge smokiness mixed with the sweetness of the maple and vanilla flavors.  Another complex and hugely flavorful beer from the masters.

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For the first time I experienced craft beer in cans from Oskar Blues Brewery of Colorado.  I had read about them in Penthouse and was intrigued.(yes I read articles in Penthouse…in between spreads)  Like most, I was skeptical, but after sampling all skepticism left my mind.  Their best in my opinion is Dale’s Pale Ale.  The first sip sent a hop torpedo right to my head.  Then I had an Old Chub….that’s beer.  It’s a Scottish Ale that has a smoked malt taste and a lining of sweet vanilla.  There was also a hint of chocolate in there which is extra surprising from a can.  The Mama’s Little Yella Pils was also a solid Czech Pilsner.

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Well, those are the one’s I can remember.  If you were there and remember an outstanding brew please leave it in the comment section.  I’m always looking for suggestions and feedback.  If you have questions about these reviews, please consult my notes below:

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Here are some details for the American Craft Beer Festival at The Seaport World Trade Center in Boston this weekend: http://beeradvocate.com/acbf/

The Beer Advocate guys put on a great Fest and this is your chance to dive into the wide world of craft beer.  The USA is the greatest beer brewing nation on the planet right now and some of the best will be here this weekend.  This is also a great chance to get to know your local brewers like Wachusett, Mayflower, Berkshire Brewing, Gritty McDuff’s, and many others.  You also get to meet the brewers, who will be more than happy to tell you all about their babies.  Don’t be intimidated by beer snobs or verbose descriptions in Brew Blogs, just jump right in and sample away.  They will have over 300 brews at the Festival, just pace yourself please.  Here’s a list of brewers and beer:

 

Upwards of 75 brewers, pouring over 300 craft beers!

American Craft Beer Fest = the largest and most diverse celebration of American Craft Beer on the east coast!

Important notes on the beers:

- All beers are subject to change and availability
- All pours are 2ozs (or less)
- Listed percentages are alcohol by volume (ABV)
- Rinse stations can be found throughout the venue
- Respect Beer.

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21st Amendment Brewery (CA)
 Allagash Brewing Co. (ME)
 Anderson Valley Brewing Co. (CA)
 Ballast Point Brewing (CA)
 Bear Republic Brewing Co. (CA)
 Beer Works (MA)
 Berkshire Brewing Co. (MA)
 Blue Hills Brewery (MA)
 Boston Beer Co. (MA)
 Boulder Beer Co. (CO)
 Brewery Ommegang (NY)
 Brooklyn Brewery (NY)
 Cambridge Brewing Co. (MA)
 Cape Ann Brewing Co. (MA)
 Cisco Brewers (MA)
 Clipper City Brewing Co. (MD)
 Coastal Extreme Brewing (RI)
 Deschutes Brewery (OR)
 Dogfish Head Craft Brewery (DE)
 Flying Dog Brewery (MD)
 Foothills Brewing (NC)
 Gardner Ale House (MA)
 Great Divide Brewing Co. (CO)
 Gritty McDuff’s Brewing Co. (ME)
 Harpoon Brewery (MA)
 Haverhill Brewery (MA)
 High & Mighty Beer Co. (MA)
 Honest Town Brewery (MA)
 Ithaca Beer Co. (NY)
 John Harvard’s Brew House – Cambridge (MA)
 John Harvard’s Brew House – Framingham (MA)
 Kennebec River Brewery (ME)
 Left Hand Brewing Co. (CO)
 Long Trail Brewing Co. (VT)
 Mad River Brewing Co. (CA)
 Magic Hat Brewing Co. (VT)
 Mayflower Brewing Co. (MA)
 McNeill’s Brewery (VT)
 Mercury Brewing Co. (MA)
 Narragansett Brewing Co. (RI)
 New England Brewing Co. (CT)
 New Holland Brewing Co. (MI)
 Odell Brewing Co. (CO)
 Opa Opa Brewing Co. (MA)
 Oskar Blues Brewery (CO)
 Otter Creek Brewing / Wolaver’s (VT)
 Paper City Brewery (MA)
 Pennichuck Brewing Co. (NH)
 Pretty Things Beer & Ale Project (MA)
 Rogue Ales (OR)
 Sebago Brewing Co. (ME)
 Sherwood Forest Brewers (MA)
 Shipyard Brewing Co. (ME)
 Shmaltz Brewing Co. (CA)
 Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. (CA)
 Sixpoint Craft Ales (NY)
 Smuttynose Brewing Co. (NH)
 Southampton Publick House (NY)
 Southern Tier Brewing Co. (NY)
 Speakeasy Ales & Lagers (CA)
 Stone Brewing Co. (CA)
 Stoudts Brewing Co. (PA)
 Surly Brewing Co. (MN)
 Terrapin Beer Co. (GA)
 The Cambridge House (CT)
 The Duck-Rabbit Craft Brewery (NC)
 The Matt Brewing Co. (NY)
 Tuckerman Brewing Co. (NH)
 Uinta Brewing Co. (UT)
 Victory Brewing Co. (PA)
 Wachusett Brewing Co. (MA)
 Watch City Brewing Co. (MA)
 Weyerbacher Brewing Co. (PA)
 Woodstock Inn Brewery (NH)