I pity the cow who’s going to munching on this stuff.  Is this real?  It looks pretty good….technically.  Fat hairy Farmer stripping down is not good, for viewing or for the hay.  This just proves how hard farmers work.  Eventually all that time in the field is going to make you snap and risk having your junk mangled in farming equipment.  Real or not?  Brilliant or dumb hayseed?  You Make the call.

Apocalyptica is revenge.  Remember those kids who were always lugging their cellos to take lessons from some nerdy music teacher?  Or the kid you made fun of because while you were busy hanging out at Fun And Games trying to catch a buzz he was at piano lessons?  Those kids may not have stayed with their musical social status killer.  Or maybe they did and are now the nerdy music teacher giving lessons to some geek.  But they are all taking comfort in the fact that a few of their fellow band camp nerds have become Rock Stars and the target of Gothy, fish- netted groupies.

That was the scene last night on stage at Royale(formerly The Roxy) in Boston as Apocalyptica showed the crowd how to rock using 3 cellos and a drummer.  That was it.  No back up guitar, no bass, just cellos and Viking attitudes.  Each member seemed to represent a different attitude.  Eicca Toppinen in “Black Album” era James Hettfield garb flailing his blond mane.  Paavo Lotjonen, who has a 50′s psycho-billy look and was the biggest motivator of crowd participation, hefting his cello in the air with one hand urging the crowd to clap along.  Perttu Kivilaakso is definitely the intense gothy weirdo, with intense concentrated blasts of motion on the fretboard of his cello, one foot on the monitor, sweat flying through the air, and Mikko Siren, the anchor, bashing the drums behind the storm of wailing strings, keeping each string man in line and taking a turn on the Double Bass for the quieter moments.

If you go to concerts or clubs to see bands regularly, you may have been programmed to expect the traditional guitar, bass, drums formation, sometimes with a singer, keyboards, horns.  But seeing only cellos and the wave of sound that comes from the stage is astounding.  The sound Toppinen conjured from his cello with the Wah-Wah pedal during the opener, Metallica’s ”Everywhere I Roam” could never be made with a guitar.  They also tore through “Master Of Puppets”  and “Seek And Destroy”.  Paying appropriate homage to the band that inspired them to go beyond the classical realm.  For those songs the crowd became the vocalists.  Former Leningrad Cowboys vocalist TipeJohnson handled vocal duties for the current single “End Of Me” and the hit “I Don’t Care”.  He was especially powerful for “I’m Not Jesus”, originally sung by Corey Taylor from the previous album “Worlds Collide”.   One of the people I was with suggested his vocals would be perfect for a cover of “Bezerker” by Love Among Freaks from the “Clerks” soundtrack.

They ramped down the intensity in the middle of the set with two quiet instrumentals from the new album “7th Symphony”.  The first was simply called “Beautiful” and it was just that.  Siren stepped out from behind the kit to play the double bass as the 3 others layered melodies that immediately hushed the crowd.  The second was called “Sacra” and reminded me of the music that accompanied the Vampire classic “Nosferatu”.  It was dark and made a bit tribal by Siren switching to a small tympani. 

All the while throngs of Gothy girls in fishnets, rubber, and Victorian garb reached toward the stage in wanting.  Somewhere a band camp nerd felt a tickle of hope in their stomach and caught a whiff of sweet revenge.

p.s. All these Finnish names made this blog look like a bloody mess after hitting spell-check.

Every year at The State Fair Of Texas they push the heavily battered envelope of deep fried goodness with an array of wonderful(and sometimes frightening) deep fried experiments.  There have been Deep fried Twinkies, Snickers, cheeseburgers, Coca-Cola, and even Pig’s feet.  But the item that immediately caught my cholesteric eye was the FRIED BEER!!!  HOLY SHIT!!! FRIED FUCKIN’ BEER!!!

There have been other experiments involving beer in batter but I think this is the first time the beer is left to stand alone.  In this case in a pretzel pocket deep fried until golden brown.  Oh, sweet honey in the rock!  They do not mention what kind of beer is used so there would have to be more experimentation….at my house.   I would love to use Dogfish head Forte and drizzle raspberry cream over it.  Maybe a Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin Ale sprinkled with cinnamon.  The possibilities are endless….and deadly. 

 Mark Zabel, the frickin’ genius who created this culinary gem should have a holiday named after him.  Below is the CBS news report.

I got this press release today, and it made me happy!

I can’t wait to see this concert!

 

 

 

TO RELEASE (sic)nesses DVD ON SEPTEMBER 28

 

                        JUNE 2009 DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL PERFORMANCE IN FRONT OF 80,000  FANS CAPTURED IN ITS ENTIRETY

 

                                MEMORABLE CONCERT IS ALSO ONE OF THE FINAL MAJOR  PERFORMANCES OF LATE BASSIST PAUL GRAY

 

New York, NY: On June 13, 2009, SLIPKNOT headlined the annual Download Festival in the UK, performing in front of 80,000 of their rabid fans. The performance was absolutely electric, in typical Slipknot fashion, especially since it came hot on the heels of one of the strongest years in Slipknot’s illustrious career.

 

It was indeed a year of “firsts” for a band that was a decade-deep into their hard rock superstardom and dominance.Their latest album, 2008’s All Hope is Gone, debuted at #1 on the Billboard Top 200 charts –the first time in their history. Slipknot embarked on a two-year touring trek that was globally successful, playing to packed houses across continents, including their headlining stint at New York City’s legendary Madison Square Garden, which was stacked to the rafters and chronicled by Rolling Stone.

 

It makes perfect sense that the band, known for their eclectic DVD collection, ranging from multi-camera angle concert documents to arthouse-style films, would release (sic)nesses, which captures a special performance at Download. All Slipknot shows are memorable, but this one is particularly memorable, as the band blasted through hits from all of their Platinum albums. On stage is Slipknot in its most natural state and (sic)nesses will put you in the front row.

 

30 cameras were on hand to capture every possible angle of the band as they motored through their parade of hits; the cameras also caught the fans on tape, as they are just as crucial an element of a Slipknot show as the band members themselves.

 
Perhaps most importantly, (sic)nesses is one of the final major performances for founding member Paul Gray, who tragically passed away in May 2010. While initially unintended, the concert is a testament to the legacy of Gray, where fans can enjoy a lasting glimpse of the bassist doing what he loved most. 

 

Additionally, the DVD also includes a 45-minute behind the scenes documentary created by band percussionist Clown, as well as all four music videos from the All Hope Is Gone cycle.

 

Lastly, All Hope is Gone has gained Platinum status, capping off a passionate, turbulent and ultimately unforgettable album cycle.

 

TRACKLISTING FOR (sic)nesses:

 

1. 742617000027

2. (sic)

3. Eyeless

4. Wait and Bleed

5. Get This

6. Before I Forget

7. Sulfur

8. The Blister Exists

9. Dead Memories

10. Left Behind

11. Disasterpiece

12. Vermilion

13. Everything Ends

14. Psychosocial

15. Duality

16. People=Shit

17. Surfacing

18. Spit it Out

 

Audible Visions Of (sic)nesses
45 minute film directed by M. Shawn Crahan that captures Slipknot on the road during the All Hope Is Gone cycle

 

MUSIC VIDEOS:
1. Psychosocial

2. Dead Memories

3. Sulfur

4. Snuff

 

MAKING OF:

1. Snuff

Some mash-ups can go terribly wrong, but this one kicks ass.  Thanks to our Virgin Video Guy Razmig for turning me on to this.  You may think it’s sacrilege to alter “Voodoo Chile(Slight return)”.  That’s too bad….because this is pretty sweet.  I’m sure if Jimi was alive he could relate.

Ozzy heas released the video for his new song Life Won’t Wait, and he let his son Jack direct it.

I talked to Ozzy about working with Jack.

Click here to listen to the interview!

China has recently become the 2nd biggest economy in the world.  Add our massive debt to the Great Red Dragon and they will soon be kicking Capitalist Ass with their pseudo Marxist Nike wearing foot.  They will then rewrite history as they are prone to do.  Seeing as China denounces all forms of Royalty they will start with bringing down the legend of the King Of Pop who shared a penchant for opiates and younger companionship just like the Great leader, Mao.  “Thriller” will be renamed “Super-Exciting Boom Boom!” and the song “Beat It” will become an anthem of the Great Workers Of The People’s Republic which they will listen to while they make baseball hats for obese Americans.

We always say that when we see someone speeding through a red light or weaving in and out of traffic at 120 mph. You know what really grinds my beans? When assholes drive in the breakdown lane. I always wonder, “Where are the cops?” They’re busy pulling me over for a busted headlight. Well, in the video below, the officer was right at the scene. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of the asshole driver left to ticket. I call it Road Rage Karma.

Jerry Cantrell from Alice In Chains called in to talk about music, fantasy football, golf and to answer your facebook and text questions.

Listen Now

Click here to get ticket informtaion for the AIC show in Boston.